At the Emmys, the joke's often on the Emmy

Heard at the 60th annual Primetime Emmy Awards:


I'm living proof, kids at home watching, that anybody can play the president."

• Paul Giamatti, accepting award for outstanding lead actor in a miniseries or movie, for playing the second president in "John Adams."

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"They say actors are people who look good saying lines written by smarter, more clever people. And, in our show that is certainly the truth."

• Alec Baldwin, accepting award for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series for "30 Rock."

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"I think we're proving that complicated, powerful, mature women are sexy in high entertainment and can carry a show.

• Glenn Close, who won award for lead actress in a dramatic series for "Damages," saluting her fellow nominees.

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"We are like on Sarah Palin's bridge to nowhere, that's where we are right now. The government can't even bail us out of this. We have nothing."

• Emmy co-host Howie Mandel, who noted he and his co-hosts didn't have a prepared opening monologue

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"What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes? What would happen? Oh wait, that was the opener."

• Jeremy Piven, razzing the reality-show hosts who opened the show after his acceptance-speech joke got few laughs.

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"Being here tonight is a big thrill for me because as a kid I use to run home from school and get all dressed up and play 60th anniversary Emmy Awards."

• Steve Martin said before introducing comedian Tommy Smothers, who received an honorary Emmy.

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"It's hard for me to stay silent, when I keep hearing that peace is only attainable through war. And there is nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action."

• Tommy Smothers as he accepted his honorary Emmy.

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"Heeereee's Johnny!"

• Ed McMahon as Josh Groban sang a tribute to TV's top shows over the past 40 years.

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"I really look forward to the next administration whoever it is. I have nothing to follow that up with. I'm just saying I really look forward to the next administration whoever it is."

• Jon Stewart, who won for best variety, music or comedy series for "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."